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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a extensive guide to the terms gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal traits signaling a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and usually everyday repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {