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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?